420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through
As much as I let something go,
it never really leaves me.
I want to believe I’m moving on
but I found myself sitting in the
shower again thinking that I
I can wash my hands thirty
times a day and still find dirt
under my fingernails.
it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob
what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob
Because we have vaginas
It’s a metaphor, see: you hold a pen with your homework in front of you, but you don’t do it, you don’t give it the power to do its killing
you only realise how bad the jokes on this site are until you actually say one out loud
trying to argue with someone over text is like being italian and having to talk with handcuffs on
you say you want to die but,
you still put that seat belt on
and look both ways before crossing the street
you lock your windows and doors
you would scream if someone was following you late at night
you would run for your life
but you do want to die
you just want to die on your own terms.
I have this on my blog like 6 times its amazing
It’s like drowning but you just won’t fucking die.
i was so drunk and harry potter was on tv and i was mastrbating and dobby died and i was crying as i masturbated it was a disaster
I don’t want to go to college but I also don’t want to NOT go to college
What I really want is to stop existing but you can’t do that without dying and I don’t want to die either
This is the most accurate post I have ever seen
This is why you should never, ever get your hopes up. This is why you should see the glass as half empty. So when the whole thing spills, you aren’t as devastated.
“Falling in love is only half of what I want. Staying in love with you till forever is the other.”
— (via ohlovequotes)